Month: March 2018 (Page 2 of 2)

At the Last Supper

March 29, 2018 / MSFriend / 0 Comments

The Last Supper

Today is Holy Thursday – a day we commemorate the Last Supper. Just a few days ago, during the liturgy, we heard the Gospel of John 13:21-33, 36-38. It reads:

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant. One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, was reclining at Jesus’ side. So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant. He leaned back against Jesus’ chest and said to him, “Master, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him. So Jesus said to him, “what you are going to do, do quickly.” Now none of those reclining at table realized why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas kept the money bag, Jesus had told him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or to give something to the poor. So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night.

When he had left, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and he will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, ‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.” Peter said to him, “Master, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”

At first glance, the words “satan entered him” jumped out at me. I don’t know about you, but when I think of Judas Iscariot and his betrayal of Jesus, I simply think of him as an ungrateful, greedy, evil man. Obviously, anything evil comes from the evil one, but those words serve to magnify the exact moment of Judas’ “conversion.” Just a few passages before, we hear of Judas getting upset when Mary used expensive performed oil to anoint Jesus’ feet. He argued that she could have sold it for 300 days wages and given the money to the poor. Was he for real? Would he have given the money to the poor? His greed was obvious. Money was his business.

I don’t believe Judas was created for the role of betrayer. He was one of the 12 for goodness sake! The REAL Judas, the Judas God intended would never have desired nor been able to betray Jesus. Yet Satan was able to enter him. How? He let down his guard. His greed crept in and temptation weakened his defenses. He lost his focus on what was really important! A lesson to all of us to STAY AWAKE!

Betrayal is not the only theme of this Gospel. It seems that denial is as well. Notice how all the Apostles reacted when Jesus said one of them would betray him. No one thought they were capable. They all went on the defensive. No one wanted to admit that they might be capable of betraying Jesus. Did they think they were perfect? As much credit as we might want to give the first disciples of Christ, I often think they were just like us. They were in denial of their flaws and brokenness. Like us they struggled with reconciling their humanity with their holiness.

Peter claims he’ll lay down his life for Jesus and yet, when the going gets tough, he denies Jesus three times. Think of the disappointment Jesus must have felt over the betrayal and denial. Disappointed, yes. As a matter of fact, the Gospel says he was troubled but never once do we hear that he was angry or begrudging.

As we approach Holy Thursday and continue through the Triduum to Easter, let us follow Christ on the road to Calvary. Let’s make it a time of complete surrender and mercy. Think of people in your life – the Judas’ and the Peters; look in the mirror and contemplate how you might be a present day Judas or Peter; think of the “places” in your life that make you feel agony similar to that felt by Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In all these things, pray for the strength and courage to accept God’s will as Jesus did – no matter what comes. Pray for the compassion and mercy to forgive as Jesus forgave just before he died on the cross. Lastly, look forward to a new life in Christ as you enter into the Spring season and receive the message of the Resurrection on Easter Sunday!

Happy Easter! God bless you!

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel

March 27, 2018 / MSFriend / 0 Comments

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel!

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. THANKS BE TO GOD! You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while. That’s because I’ve been “blocked.” Some might call it writer’s block, some might call it depression or hormones and some others might call it desolation of spirit. I have my thoughts. Call it what you want. What I know for sure is that I really felt like I was in a dark tunnel.

I can honestly say that I have never felt so tangled in my entire 48 years of existence. Despite all of that I continued to put on a brave face and pressed on. Every morning I’d pull myself up by my bootstraps and function the only way I knew how, until one day the cork popped (at least that’s what it felt like). I no longer had the strength to pull those bootstraps up. Emotions were high and all I could do was cry, cry, cry. I questioned my purpose, my choices and my ability to be who God created me to be.

In that moment of sadness, I texted my childhood friend – my “bro” (we call each other “bro” because we are embryo friends – our mom’s were friends while carrying us in the womb). All I needed to text was “PRAY FOR ME” and she knew she had to call. We speak often and we encourage each other. This day was no different other than the fact that she knew she had to drop everything to speak to me. Boy did I unleash on her. It brought tears to my eyes when I realized the presence of Jesus in our conversation. Her words brought great comfort to me that day. That was the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Bro!

In hindsight, I realize that what I was experiencing wasn’t so much a tunnel as it was a grave. I was experiencing the darkness of the grave I was digging to bury my old self. A new me was about to emerge and I was experiencing the pain of metamorphosis. Today, I am much happier, more confident and purpose driven. God has blessed me with an abundance of grace during my darkest days to date. I don’t know why it amazes me so much when God perfectly plans my path but it always does.

Shortly after my conversation with my “bro”, I was blessed to experience a weekend retreat guided by Fr. Michael Gaitley, MIC, entitled Mercy and Mary. If you ever have an opportunity to attend, please do. That retreat “did something to me” – to use Fr. Mike’s words.

When I got back from retreat, I bumped into another one of my friends at church. She commented on my blog and recommended a book by Henry Nouwen entitled The Life of the Beloved. Being a bookworm, I immediately downloaded it onto my Kindle. All I can say is WOW! The words in that book could not have come at a better time – God’s time! They remind me to remain in this place, they lead me forward and help me continue shedding the old in order to complete the new. The tools I need to function in a world to which I do not belong are in that book. Thank you M.T.!

I know I still have a long way to go to become who God created me to be, but for the first time in my life I sense the dawning of a new day. God loves me no matter where I am on the journey! I am blessed, I am strong and His grace is enough for me. My outlook has changed, my idea of where I am supposed to be in my life and my purpose is beginning to take shape. I’m happy to be where I am now and I’m excited to see where I end up. My eyes have been opened. I am aware of what works for me – what my strengths and weaknesses are. More importantly I recognize that while there is power in YES, there’s also power in NO!

What got me here to this “new life?” God’s grace is the simple answer. I say it’s the simple answer because through God’s grace I was able to persevere in prayer. As hard as it was to remain focused on God in those dark moments, I never got angry with God, I never questioned, I just pushed myself to pray what little I could, knowing that it would lead me to a good place. I knew I was dry, but I didn’t give up completely. The lines of communication remained open. I attended mass (although not as often as I would have liked), I prayed the Liturgy of the Hours (once in a while) and I prayed my own spontaneous prayer every morning. I did the best I could with what I had and God heard.

We all experience hills and valleys in our lives. Sometimes the feeling is overwhelming, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Be encouraged. I’ll leave you with some words from The Life of the Beloved by Henry Nouwen.

“I tell you all of this because I know how moody you and I can be. One day we feel great, the next we feel miserable. One day we are full of new ideas, the next everything looks bleak and dull. One day we think we can take on the whole world, but the next even a little request seems too much for us.”

“These mood swings show that we no longer hear the blessing that was heard by Abraham and Sarah; Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob, Leah and Rachel, and Jesus of Nazareth and that we, too, are to hear. When we are thrown up and down by the little waves on the surface of our existence, we become easy victims of our manipulative world, but, when we continue to hear the deep gentle voice that blesses us, we can walk through life with a stable sense of well-being and true belonging.”

I am so ready, willing and able to hear the deep gentle voice that blesses me and to walk through life with a stable sense of well-being and true belonging! I hope you are too! God bless you!

I dedicate this post to ALL my sisters in Christ who encourage, inspire and teach me each and everyday. Thank you for your support, prayers and powerful presence. I see you and I appreciate you. Henri Nouwen says “deep friendship is a calling forth of each other’s chosenness and a mutual affirmation of being precious in God’s eyes.” I’m grateful for our deep friendship!