Journaling Archives - Page 16 of 69

Through forgiveness comes healing. I found myself repeating that to my mom this weekend as we continued our adventure from Lancaster, PA to Washington D.C. and Virginia. The “why” could possibly be material for a later post.

My first “introduction” to this concept was during a homily given by one of our deacons. In the homily the deacon pointed out that before performing any healings, Jesus would forgive the sins of the people He healed. The deacon made very clear in his homily that Jesus’ message throughout Scripture is: there can be no healing without forgiveness. POWERFUL concept when applied to one’s personal life!

Sacred Story

Fast forward a year or so to my current reading material and it all comes together for me. Forty Weeks – An Ignatian Path to Christ with Sacred Story Prayer is the book I’m reading. It is written by Jesuit priest William Watson. I recommend this book to ALL Christians, not just Catholic Christians. In this book Fr. Watson first encourages the reader to delve deeply into their past. In the second part of the book he encourages the reader to continue on into the future focused on developing and maintaining a closer relationship with the Almighty.

I won’t say the “archaeological dig” is easy or that it won’t be painful. What I will say is that it is interesting to review life and actually notice what makes us tick. This book helps the reader develop an awareness of themselves and their reactions. We all have a Sacred Story and this book helps us uncover it.

As you can tell from my writings, I am a firm believer in the power of meditation and contemplation. It’s what I believe has helped me develop a deeper connection to God and all of His creation. Forty Weeks helps develop a discipline of meditation which is a bit different from what I am accustomed to. That’s not to say that one way is right and the other is wrong. It’s just different. As the title suggests, it follows the format of St. Ignatius’ spiritual exercises. In the Ignatian prayer form we are told to take 15 minutes twice a day to meditate on Creation, Presence, Memory, Mercy and Eternity. We are given short paragraphs to focus on for each. Here’s where the deacon’s homily connects to my current reading.

Mercy

For “Mercy” our attention is focused on this truth: I believe that forgiveness is the only path to healing and illumination. I beg for the grace of forgiveness and the grace to forgive, especially for the general and particular failures of this day, and from my past! Think about that for a moment. Healing cannot come without forgiveness. The truth of the matter is forgiveness is a two-way street. We all need forgiveness for something AND we all need to forgive others for acts committed against us. Yes, it is important for us to open our hearts to forgive. It is also important for us to look in the mirror in a spirit of conviction. As hard as it is to admit, we are all IMPERFECT. But even with all our imperfections, we are God’s beloved.

The message here is the sooner we recognize and admit our imperfection and God’s love for us despite it, the sooner we can learn to be open to forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves (because we’re not perfect) and forgiveness of others. It is through our open hearts and repentant souls that we receive the grace to be completely healed. Healed in mind AND spirit, which carries the healing forward to our relationships and families.

One last thought about this. Forgiveness brings healing and healing brings peace. Isn’t PEACE all we really want out of this life and the next? Through forgiveness and healing we get to experience heaven here on Earth. What more can we ask for? God bless you!

God is present in the here and now. — Times stands still in the present!

In one of my past posts, I talked about the importance of living in present moment awareness. I mentioned how I failed at smiling when my mind wandered to past and future events. Yesterday, as is true of all things inspired by the Holy Spirit, I received an answer to why this is so. This answer led me to realize something else.

I started a new chapter in the current book I’m reading Forty Weeks – An Ignatian Path to Christ with Sacred Story Prayer. Here’s what it says and the answer to why it’s impossible to smile unless we’re rooted in present moment awareness:

The eternal God can only be experienced in the here and now, for everything in the universe is sustained by God’s love in the present moment. When I worry about the past, or fret about the future, my consciousness of God, of creation, and of my deepest desires, is blocked. My challenge is to anchor both heart and mind firmly in the present: in each thought, word, and deed, as the story of my life evolves, in each moment, in God’s presence.

So let’s put it all together now. We can smile only when we’re focused on the present and ONLY in the present can God be experienced! Here’s my legal logical reasoning mind at work: WE CAN SMILE ONLY WHEN GOD IS EXPERIENCED!

“The eternal God can only be experienced in the here and now” must have lingered in my subconscious all night because I spent this morning in a powerful meditative state. God’s Presence was palpable. I savored the moments when tears welled up in my eyes because that’s when I felt Him closest. As I remained focused on the present moment this morning, I realized something else: it felt like time stood still. Let me explain.

Late Sunday night I decided to get myself ready for a productive week by making a list of things to do. Being the organized, sometimes neurotic , person I am I split the list into categories – business, home and church. I wound up with a full double-sided sheet of paper. Initially this overwhelmed me. I started to tackle some of my chores after making the list last night. Needless to say, I was up past midnight. Normally what happens when I make such a huge list is I become paralyzed. Most of my time is spent worrying about everything I have to do instead of my actually doing anything. This in turn makes me feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day. Today was different.

I woke up after only getting 4.5 hours of sleep last night. After seeing my husband off to work I was tempted to go back to bed but I refused. I knew it would keep me from my morning routine of prayer and contemplation. It would also change the trajectory of my day and the plans I had made. Instead I decided to sit on my deck with coffee and just be. I watched the fog disappear and reappear in the distance. As I listened to the birds sing their morning songs, I watched my dogs do what they do best – teach me.

I continued with my morning and decided I wouldn’t have time to attend mass today. But…………as we all know, God has a great sense of humor. I “planned” a busy day where I wouldn’t have time to go to church. God had a different plan – time to spare! Between 5 and 8:30 am I managed to be still for a significant amount of time, pray, do a load of laundry, clean two bathrooms, vacuum, have breakfast and head out to church with enough time to participate in morning prayer. It literally felt like time stood still this morning. God is infinite and when we truly experience Him in the here and now time seems infinite as well. This morning I realized things effortlessly fall into place when you remain present.

For my sisters in Christ who are reading Forty Weeks with me, this is for you. The consensus is that it’s going to be difficult to maintain the routine required in the book. It almost seems like too much to remember – too many steps. I am happy to report that the routine just flowed for me today. As a matter of fact, I completed today’s assignment before I even opened the book and that wasn’t my intention. Simply being present allowed me to enter into that space of grace! I felt closer to God this morning than I have in a long time. Boy did it feel good to be steeped in prayer and presence. The lesson here: don’t think too much, just be and let it flow! Remember, “it’s not Mount Everest” applies to the rest of the book too.