Journaling Archives - Page 29 of 69

Weeds Among the Wheat – Matthew 13:24-43

When I read the first part of this Gospel, I came up with my “own” interpretation of who or what I though Jesus was referring to in the parable. However, further on in the Gospel Jesus himself outlines the “cast of characters.” He explains them as follows:

Sower of good seed – Jesus

Enemy – evil one

Good seed – children of the Kingdom

Weeds – children of the evil one

Harvest – end of the age

Harvesters – angels

Jesus’ explanation is what I like to refer to as “the big picture” – an explanation that humankind can understand and relate to. As students of the word and followers of Christ, we can’t stop there. God speaks to each one of us through Scripture. While pondering a particular verse several people can receive a different message. So how does this Gospel speak to you on an individual/personal level? Here’s how it spoke to me:

Sower – devout children of God

Enemy – evil one

Good seed – virtues of faith, hope and love

Weeds – turmoil/ suffering in life

Harvest – perseverance/light at the end of the tunnel

Harvesters – community of believers/brothers and sisters in Christ

True followers of Christ are sowers of good seed. They share their faith, hope in Christ and love their neighbors. They witness to the Truth by the way they live. This, in no way, means that true followers of Christ are shielded or spared from experiencing suffering in this life. Suffering takes many forms. It can be as simple as our over-thinking a situation, living with envy and jealousy in our hearts or feeling less than good enough – all situations that make us feel uneasy. Suffering can be as complex as the tragic loss of a loved one, a failed marriage or some form of abuse.

I can go on for days about what suffering can be but the point I want to make is this: even Christ, the Son of God was not immune from suffering. I think our first reaction to suffering is to make it go away or run away from it. What I hear Jesus telling us through this parable is suffering is a “right of passage” if you will. We shouldn’t try to make it go away or run away from it but sit through it. If there is anything Christ modeled for us after his crucifixion was perseverance through the Resurrection.

One thing I can attest to is the power of prayer. Through our family of believers (harvesters) interceding for us we gain the strength to endure and persevere (harvest) through suffering. Instead of losing faith and asking why we suffer, we should be asking ourselves “What is this meant to teach me?” “Am I being called to increased humility?” “Am I being called to trust more?” You get the point.

After meditating on the various ways we suffer, I came to the realization that our suffering stems from our expectations and our desire for certitude in life. We expect to grow old with our spouse, we expect that our lives should be “perfect” as depicted often on television, etc. We desire to live our lives free of doubt. Unfortunately, sometimes our lives don’t turn out as we planned and our deepest desires are never realized. Therein lies the source of our suffering.

Of course, God always provides me with a theme in my reading. Shortly after reading the Gospel I came across a meditation by Richard Rohr on the subject of certitude, which ties this all together.

Welcome Darkness and Mystery
Wednesday, July 19, 2017

There are commonly two kinds of human beings: there are people who want certitude and there are people who want understanding; and these two often cannot understand one another.

Those who demand certitude out of life will insist on it even if it doesn’t fit the facts. Logic has nothing to do with it. Truth has nothing to do with it. “Don’t bother me with the truth—I’ve already come to my conclusion!” If you need certitude, you will surround yourself with your conclusions.

The very meaning of faith stands in stark contrast to this mind-set. I think Jesus (or the Father or Spirit) is actually dangerous if taken outside of the Trinity. Jesus held separate from the other members of the Trinity implies that faith is a static concept instead of a dynamic and flowing one.

We’ve turned faith into certitude when, in fact, this Trinitarian mystery is whispering quite the opposite: we have to live in exquisite, terrible humility before reality. In this space, God gives us a spirit of questing, a desire for understanding; it seems to me it’s only this ongoing search for understanding that will create compassionate and wise people.

If you think you have a right to certitude, then show me where the Gospel ever promised or offered you that. If God wanted us to have evidence, rational proof, and perfect clarity, the incarnation of Jesus would have been delayed till the invention of audio recorders and video cameras.

Rational certitude is exactly what the Scriptures do not offer us. They offer us something much better and an entirely different way of knowing: an intimate relationship, a dark journey, a path where we must discover for ourselves that grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness are absolutely necessary for survival in an uncertain world. You only need enough clarity and ground to know how to live without certitude! Yes, we really are saved by faith. People who live in this way never stop growing, are not easily defeated, and frankly, are fun to live with.

You can tell mature and authentic faith by people’s ability to deal with darkness, failure, and non-validation of the ego—and by their quiet but confident joy! Infantile religion insists on certainty every step of the way and thus is not very happy.

Gateway to Silence:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. —Proverbs 3:5

To the question of whether he wanted them to pull the weeds from among the wheat, the householder responds ‘No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them.’ Get the message? When we run away or try to control the source of our suffering, it’s like pulling the weeds and uprooting the wheat – we lose sight of the lesson we are meant to learn, we lose the opportunity to grow. Sadly, we miss the opportunity to join our suffering to Christ’s and truly becoming one with Him! Will you continue to run or will you begin to embrace the lesson? God bless you!

I’ve been away for quite some time. I miss writing but I feel uninspired. This, despite the fact that I have so much to talk about and share. Since I last wrote, I have traveled to Lourdes, France. I’ve shared in so many wonderful, miraculous and spiritual experiences. I’ve met some great people along the way. Before I left on my trip I was distracted by all the prep and anxiety of the trip. I was most stressed about being away from home for 6 days. Upon my return, I was distracted by the fact that in a few weeks I would be undergoing major surgery.

It’s funny how routine life can get. It’s even funnier how comfortable we become with the routine. If there’s anything this trip to Lourdes has taught me, it’s to STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. By so doing, you allow yourself the opportunity to receive the many graces and blessings God has in store for you.

So let me start at the beginning: I was given the opportunity to go on an all expense paid trip to Lourdes, France to travel as a caregiver to one of my friends who was applying for the trip through the Knights of the Order of Malta. The Knights organize this pilgrimage every year and sponsor several sick/disabled people, along with their caregivers, to experience the beauty, spirituality and healing of Lourdes, France.

At first, I was conflicted about being chosen to be a caregiver. Although I have been there on several occasions to help my friend with medical issues , I didn’t feel I was her “caregiver” as I understood that word to mean. So I told her I wasn’t interested in applying. At her insistence, I submitted the application and several months later got word that we had been approved to participate in the pilgrimage. I have to admit, I wasn’t the least bit excited. My routine was being challenged. In addition to my routine, I had to break the news to my husband who suffers from PTSD since 9/11. Ughhhhh! As time went on and after I received my passport, God gave me the grace to accept the gift and blessing. I actually started getting excited about it.

I’ll share photos and experiences in future posts. For now I’d like to fast forward to a month after my return home. The experience was one that neither words nor photos can aptly express. The magnitude of the “domain”, the presence of God and the Blessed Mother around us, the sense of community with fellow pilgrims from other distant lands was mind blowing.

What truly touched my soul was the fact that despite the state of the world, I feared nothing, I worried about nothing, I focused on nothing else but the faith I love so much. That, my friends, is a gift I can never ever repay! As a result of my experience at Lourdes, I have returned to my routine with a deeper devotion to the Blessed Mother, with a desire to maintain the palpability of God’s presence around me every day and a thirst to continue on pilgrimage! This would have never happened had I let my fear take control. FEAR – FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL! It’s not from God – let it go!