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Amen, Amen I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me. (John 12:24-26 New American Bible translation)

Have you ever heard of the phrase “dying to self”? I understand it to mean letting go of attachments, putting the needs of others first, or living from the heart as opposed to living from the ego. A way of viewing ourselves as a being with purpose in this life as opposed to a being seeking to constantly satisfy any and all of our selfish desires.

In this verse, Jesus likens us to a grain of wheat. He illustrates for us that a grain of wheat must die in order to grow and produce much fruit. He continues with some powerful words: whoever loves his life loses it and whoever hates his life in this world preserves it for eternal life! A literal interpretation of these words can stop you in your tracks. Definitely a “thing that makes you go hmmmmm?” But as with most of Jesus’ messages, there’s more, some deeper meaning. He is warning us of the damage our egos can cause in our lives. Damage that can come in several ways – physical, emotional and spiritual – an attack on our body, mind and soul. When we live with an inflated ego (love our lives) there is no room in our lives for God, for what is eternal – He is not our priority.

Jesus reminds us that whoever hates his life in this world preserves it for eternal life (being in this world but not “of” it!) When we focus our attention on that, then we make God our priority. When the things of this world take a back seat to God instead of vice versa – that’s how we preserve our lives for eternity. For example, when we choose Sunday worship instead of sleeping in or attendance at a sporting event. When we choose to stay home and relish the silence as opposed to going to a bar to drink with friends, when we decide to only buy what we need (in an effort to consider those less fortunate than us) instead of running out on impulse and getting what we want – that is when we begin our journey of dying to self. How difficult it all is – to not care what the “trend” is, to not care to “fit in”, to not be influenced by the changing world we live in. The bible tells us that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is our constant, He is the one we need to follow – not the “Joneses.” Jesus promises that if we follow Him, where He is (heaven), there will we also be! Amen to that!

The concept of dying to self is not an easy one to swallow – believe me, I know. Jesus implies that when we die to self we produce much fruit – that is, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Isn’t that encouraging? Shouldn’t that be our goal?

One last note – Jesus spoke these words just before he was to die. He gave us the best example – He died for us literally! What we are challenged to do for Him cannot even compare. Soooo, a few days ago I asked the question “who are you?” – today in order to drive the message home I would ask “why are you here? ” Share your thoughts! God bless you!

Today I felt compelled to share the reflection I mentioned in my Power of Yes blog. Just a little bit of background: several years ago I was asked to give a reflection to my parish congregation. The topic was Belonging More Deeply. Here’s what I shared:

As I thought about the topic of belonging more deeply and how we could do that, three words came to mind: prayer, surrender and gratitude.

As Christians, we know how important prayer is in our relationship with God, who is with us at all times. I grew up knowing the importance of prayer. However, never was it more evident to me than on September 11, 2001. I remember the day vividly. My husband and I had just purchased our first home and adopted our late dog, Leo. I was a practicing attorney in Manhattan, working in the Woolworth Building, just 2 blocks from the WTC. My husband was a union electrician working inside the WTC.

The day started as any other day. Actually, it was better than any other day. I was exceptionally happy with life. I remember walking the dog and holding my head up high as I thought: Thank you God! As I approached my front door, my neighbor popped his head out to tell me that a plane had just hit the WTC. My husband was there. The only thing I knew would comfort me and help me believe that he would get out alive was prayer. I learned very early in my life about the power of prayer from my mother. So I decided to call the rest of our family. I thought “the more prayer the better the chance of his survival.”

It was 9:30 before I was finally able to hear his voice. He was ok and trying to make his way home. Several days after the ordeal, my husband shared his version of the events. He was on the 91st floor of tower 1, just two floors below where the first plane hit. After exiting the building and realizing that the subway system had been shut down, he had no idea where to go from there. As he wandered the streets of lower Manhattan, he ran into a childhood friend he hadn’t seen in many years and who happened to be a NYC police officer. The officer filled him in on the facts and pointed him in the direction of the Brooklyn Bridge. My husband made his way to the bridge and then the first tower fell.

As the puff of smoke from the fallen building was about the engulf my husband, he turned to see a van trying to get past the sea of people attempting to cross the Brooklyn Bridge and noticed the driver was alone. He knocked on the window and asked the man to let him in and he did, before the smoke reached them. My husband was simply looking to make it across the bridge, but the man lived in our area and drove him straight to our front door. The man’s name was Manuel – short for Emmanuel – God is with us. Looking back on that day, it is obvious that God was with my husband.

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